If He Cheated With A Normal Girl, Maybe I would Have Forgiven Him

Before he became my husband, we dated for three years. I remember one day, someone gave him a tip-off that I was back together with my ex-boyfriend. I thought he would do his own investigation and find out for himself if that was true. He didn’t do any investigation or asked any questions. I was there when he sent me a message that our relationship was over. I called him and he didn’t pick up. Later in the night, I went to his house and asked if he was joking. He said, “We’ve dated for two years. Have I ever joked with something of that sort?” I asked him, “So why are you breaking up with me without any reason?”

He answered, “I have a reason and the reason is about your ex-boyfriend. I know you two are back together secretly.” I laughed. “Is it some joke? My ex-boyfriend? I haven’t seen that guy in ages.” He said, “Continue lying to yourself. You think I’m a fool.” No matter what I said, this guy wouldn’t accept my explanation. I told him, “Do your worse,” then I left his place. Two days later, he called to tell me, “I’m sorry, I got it wrong.” I asked, “How did you know the truth now?” He said, “It’s a false alarm. The same person who told me also came to tell me that he got the wrong information.”

I asked him to tell me that person’s name before I accept to date him again. No matter how hard I tried, he didn’t tell me who that person was. We came back together again but I learned my lesson that day; that the day I cheat, that day he would walk out of the relationship. I vowed never to come close to even the shadow of my ex so I don’t lose the man I’d invested all my love in.

Two years later we got married. A few months after marriage, his job role changed. He was a supplier for one of the biggest manufacturers of consumer goods in the country. He was stationed in Accra until he was moved to the central region after our marriage. He traveled every day to the central region to do deliveries. Sometimes he came back and other times he spent two or three days in the region before coming back.

A year and a half after marriage, we gave birth to our first son. Being a father changed him totally. No matter where he went, he did his best to come back home that same day to be with us. Things went back to normal again after our child was two years old. He went out of Accra and sometimes spent up to a week.

Currently, I’m five months pregnant with our second child. His job hasn’t changed. He goes out and spends any number of days he wants and comes back for a few days and goes back again. I don’t complain. What he does is put food on the table. The only thing a loving wife would do is to back him with prayers and ask God to keep him away from any accident that would claim his life.

He came home one weekend and brought his dirty clothes for me to wash it. While going through it, I saw an empty condom box in one of his pockets. I wondered for a while and decided to ask him about it. Knowing the kind of man that he is, I know the kind of lies he’ll use to back his claim of innocence so I decided to keep quiet and instead do a little investigation.

That night when he fell asleep, I picked his phone and tried to get into it. After several failed attempts, my birth date did the trick. I went to his WhatsApp and started reading anything I could find. There was this number that had not been saved. The last line of their chat caught my attention. My husband was asking if she would come around again in the evening. The response was, “If it’s you and that your friend again then I’m not coming until you increase the amount.”

I scrolled up until I got to the end of the chat. It wasn’t a long chat anyway. I read everything from word to word until I got to the end of the chat. That person my husband was chatting with was a call girl. The girl calls him “Customer” and he also refers to her as Bibi. From their conversation, my husband picks her up at night and takes her to their place so he and his colleague will enjoy her until the next morning. It’s a ‘gala’ sort of affair.

After reading the message, my knees started jerking immediately. There are people you cheat with that can be considered sane. But to do it with a call-girl? He didn’t even do it alone but had a ‘gala’ with a colleague. That’s the lowest low any married man can get.” He woke up in the night to find me crying. He asked what the matter was and I said, “Bibi is the matter.” He screamed, “Who asked you to pick my phone? How did you even get to know the password?” I said, “Talk about Bibi and how you slept with her with your friend. That’s what’s important now.”

He said, “I don’t know what you read and I don’t know why you are crying but whatever the case is, it’s not what you think.” I said, “I know what I read, and what I read was written in English. Or you want us to talk about how I found an empty condom in your trousers.” He was quiet for a while and then he said, “It happened only once, I swear. It won’t happen again.” I told him, “Yeah it won’t happen again because I won’t be here the next time it happens.”

This happened only a month ago and I thought he will stay home often for us to talk about it but no. He goes out of the house and comes back two or three weeks later. When I call him on phone, he tells me he’s driving so he’ll call when he stops but that call would never come. Days ago, I sent him a message; “You remember the day you left me because of a mere rumor? I’m going to do the same thing. By the time you’ll be home, I would be long gone.” I thought that message would push him to act but till now, he hadn’t responded to that message.

He’s now so engrossed in his work that there’s no space for us to talk about what happened. I know he’s using his job as a shield to run away from the conversation but that is not going to happen. I left the house and went to my parent’s house. I’ve told them everything. My dad said, “Let’s wait until he comes so we get the answers.”

I’m currently depressed. I don’t get enough sleep because I’m always thinking. Because he’s not talking about it, I’ve told my patients to ignore him because I’m leaving the marriage. I’m waiting until he returns so I tell him that I’d left. My parents think I’m being too harsh and hasty in making a decision. They tell me, “This is not something that should cause a divorce.” The thing is, I don’t even know what to think or do. That’s why I’m sharing this. I need advice. I need to hear something to put my mind at ease.

Source: Silent Beads

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